Trust
"People suck, they are sure to dissapoint you." My firends have heard me say this a thousand times. I also tell them that I cannot be dissapointed by people's crappy actions because I do not have high expectations of them. I say, " It's just what people do. I expect them to mess up". One of my friends always tell me that this view of mine is very messed up. She says that she doesn't believe I actually have that view, that I can't have such low expectations of everyone. Well, I guess she is right because I got hugely dissapointed today.
Someone I look up to, an exceptional person that could possibly have been an exception on my 'people suck' list messed up big time. It was like a huge slap in my face and I felt like this person had been decieving me for so long. What makes it even more horrible is that I felt like this person was also decieving God. I wish I can give details of this person's betrayal but I can't... (I feel like punching a table.)
Anyway, today, I realized that I have always wanted to trust people. That is why I am hurt that this person that I had such high expectations of did not live up to it. If he can't be trusted, nobody else can. It's really awful to live in a world with no trust. I feel naked...